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 Manners Matter
manners Matter with Truman and Mrs. F
Q. What is a gentleman? Children seem to think it's old-fashioned, but I miss the days when boys were taught to stand up for ladies and to open doors for older people. Has all of that completely gone out of style? Concerned Grandma
A. Today, the word "gentleman" is used to describe everything from members of an audience to signs on public restrooms, but the word still does absolutely have a true meaning. Most of us could name three characteristics of what we consider to be the
attributes of a gentleman, such as holding the door, letting girls go first and shaking hands, but those are only surface gestures; being a gentleman is all about being
considerate of others.
And of course, being considerate of others is always welcome and is ALWAYS in style, no matter how casual nor how many other ways the word "gentleman" is used. Being a gentleman has always referred to at least in part, the aware and courteous way a man or boy treats others, and so I must conclude that certainly, being labeled a "gentleman" is in fact, a supreme compliment, and something a modern young man should find useful and inspiring.
Learning to be a gentleman is quite practical, actually, in that manners always assist in furthering a young man's success, whether his aspirations lie in music, doing well in school or in sports. A mannerly young man will always make a positive impression equally on everyone, from potential employers to potential spouses. Yes, that's right: The guy who opens the door will win the heart of his lady and the respect of her parents.
Basic characteristics of a gentleman:
Letting girls and women go first (even in the buffet line!)
Speaking to adults
(parents of friends) and looking them in the eye
Helping younger
children or older people (onto the escalator, into a cab, onto the stairs, etc.)
Holding the door for others
Offering to help carry heavy items for ladies (especially MOM!) if they are
physically able
Taking his hat off inside a building
Helping a woman or girl with her chair
Helping a lady with her coat
Shaking hands with adults and peers
Including others in conversations
Walking with his mother, grandmother, or sisters instead of impatiently running ahead
Not taking huge helpings of food, so that everyone can get a portion
Protecting others (especially loved ones) from hurtful words or physical harm if he is physically capable
Lets women and girls order first in a restaurant
Truman and Mrs. Susan Fleming will be glad to answer your questions on manners and etiquette. Susan Fleming is a home economist, editor and lifestyle writer, specializing in the areas of entertaining and childrens etiquette. Parents, want to teach manners this
summer? Visit susanfleming.com and check out her comprehensive curriculum that includes a great teachers manual. E-mail your question to manners@kidsvillenews.com. If we use your question in the publication, you will receive a Kidsville News! t-shirt!
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