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Previous Issues > August 2007 > Manners Matter > Manners Matter With Truman And MRS. F
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 Manners Matter
Manners Matter With Truman And MRS. F
Q. My name is Audrey and I am nine years old. I have a manners question for you, please. If you are out to dinner at a restaurant and have something gross in your mouth that you need to spit out, what is the right way to get rid of it? Sometimes meat will have a lot of fat on it, or grapes may have big seeds. Thanks for your help with this manners matter.
Audrey
A. Dear Audrey,
Thanks so much for your great question! The problem of finding a small bone or a piece of gristle in your food after you put it into your mouth is tricky, but don't worry it is quite easy to deal with this inconvenience easily and politely. First I want to express a word of caution: Generally speaking, what goes into your mouth should not, except in the case of an emergency, come back out.
 However, we all know that there are occasions when we accidentally put something inedible into our mouths (you mentioned seeds and fat); if that happens, simply remove it from your mouth with your fingers with as little fuss as possible and place it on the side of your plate. Do not try to spit it back onto your fork, and do not ever spit it into your napkin. It is perfectly correct to place it on the side of your plate. Do not under any circumstances spit it out and yell "gross" or "yuck, a piece of gristle!"
If you do get something such as a small bone stuck in your throat, and you actually need help, don't try to use "correct manners." That is very dangerous. Motion that you need assistance! Likewise, if you see someone struggling and you think he may be
choking, try to help him or find someone nearby to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him.
The rules of what to do with bones or seeds after they go into your mouth apply in both a restaurant and at home, but since you specifically asked about restaurants, I would like to share a few tips with you that might help you the next time you are dining out.
Restaurant Rules:
Make a decision about what you would like to eat quickly and quietly.
Speak clearly and loudly enough for the waiter to hear you.
Say please and thank you to the waiter.
Be aware of how hungry you really are, and do not order more than you can eat.
Place your napkin on your lap when you sit down: fold it loosely and place it on the right of your plate when you leave.
Ask for salt and pepper or ketchup to be passed to you do not reach over others.
If you accidentally drop something on the floor, don't crawl under the table or bend down in the aisle to retrieve it; simply ask the waiter to bring another.
Do not make negative comments about anyone else's food.
Do not make rude remarks about your food, such as "this looks gross," or "yuck."
Do not play with your food.
Do not talk with food in your mouth.
Don't slurp your drink when it reaches the bottom.
Thanks again for your great question!
Truman and Mrs. Susan Fleming will be glad to answer your questions on manners and etiquette. Susan Fleming is a home economist, editor and lifestyle writer, specializing in the areas of entertaining and children's etiquette. Just e-mail your question to
manners@kidsvillenews.com. If we use your question in the publication, you will receive a Kidsville News! t-shirt!
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