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Previous Issues > June 2007 > Manners Matter > Dinner Time
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 Manners Matter
Dinner TIme
Q.When sleeping over at a friend's house, a nice dinner is prepared, and the family is excited about having a visitor, but the visitor does not like what they prepared to eat. What should the visitor say and do?
Mrs. Romeros 2nd-grade class at Ossun Elementary
A. Dear Mrs. Romero's Class,
Having friends and socializing with them in their homes is one of life's great
pleasures. And though you probably don't realize it yet, when we have company, we must do some planning and a little extra work to make their visit special and enjoyable for them and for us. When you have a friend over to your house, maybe your mom asks you to do a really good job of cleaning up your room, or maybe she makes an extra trip to the supermarket to get food for your sleepover, right? Likewise, when you are invited to someones house, that family will be doing these things in anticipation of your visit, too.
People cook for each other for many reasons, and preparing a meal for someone is truly one of the highest forms of hospitality and friendship; it is a sign that you are very welcome in his or her home. But, food costs money, and it takes a lot to time to prepare and all of this is done to show you, their guest, how much you mean to them. Wow. You must be very special!
Try to imagine that you were going to make a dinner for someone special to you. Do you know everything that he or she likes to eat? Probably not. You might choose things that your family likes or maybe just something that you like. What if that person for whom you are preparing a special meal doesn't like it? How would it make you feel if he or she said, Yuck, or maybe he or she just looked at the food and said, NO WAY!? I am sure that kind of comment would disappoint you and maybe even hurt your feelings. After all, you had no idea that your friend hates cheeseburgers, right? You made the dinner for him or her because you were trying to be considerate. Your friend won't necessarily know what you like and don't like, either. Try to remember that point when you are about to make a comment about what the family has made for you.
When you are at home, in a restaurant or especially at a friend's house, you should always, always, always use your very best manners. Table manners are about much more than just proper eating; they are about being kind and considerate of others. So, now that you see how important it is when people invite you over, and cook for you, think of how you can show them that you appreciate them and their hard work; do you say I dont like that!? Do you say That looks gross!? Of course not you simply say, Thank you, this looks great.
It is never a good idea to tell a lie about anything, even if you are trying to avoid hurting someone's feelings. You should take whatever food is offered, eat the things you like and try to take at least one bite of the things you aren't sure about. If your friend or your friends mom asks you any questions about the food, you need to think of something truthful and positive to say. Concentrate on what you do like! You might say, These potatoes are delicious, or This is my favorite kind of muffin something like that. Show them that you enjoy their company and you are glad they invited you.
Some important table manners to remember:
Always say thank you when served
something. This shows appreciation.
Don't stuff your mouth full of food. It looks disgusting, and you could choke.
Eat with a fork unless the food is meant to be eaten with fingers.
Chew with your mouth closed. This includes no talking with your mouth full.
Make no rude noises, such as burping, snorting or slurping.
Truman and Mrs. Susan Fleming will be glad to answer your questions on manners and etiquette. Susan Fleming is a home economist, editor and lifestyle writer, specializing in childrens etiquette. Just e-mail your question to manners@kidsvillenews.com. If we use your question in the publication, you will receive a Kidsville News! t-shirt!
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