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 Manners Matter
Manners Matter With Truman And MRS. F
Q. What do you say when you open a birthday gift at your party and you already have that gift?
Brianna S., age 6
A. All of us have received a gift that we really didnt like or need before! You are so smart to ask what to do in this situation, and the answer is simply to say thank you, or something like, You are so sweet, or Wow!
 It is important that you not lie to the person, though, and you can tell the truth about the fact that you are very glad that they took the time to come to your party and that you appreciate the gift. Appreciate just means that you value the fact that they think enough of you to buy you a gift. When you have someone who likes or loves you enough to do this, that is reason enough to be happy: giving gifts is all about happiness.
You should always try to be sincere, which means that you are not pretending. If you
concentrate on good things instead of negative things, like the fact that you dont need another doodle bear (or whatever the gift may be), being sincere is easy!
The most important thing is to be kind to your friends or your family and be sure not to hurt their feelings. If they think you dont like what they gave you, that will make them very sad. Think about how you would feel if you spent time picking out what you think is a really great gift for your friend, and when she opened it, she just threw it aside. Ouch! That would really hurt your feelings, right?
You may want to practice what you are going to say if you open a gift that you already have with your mom or dad before the party. Also, it might be a good idea to talk about all the gifts with your mom or dad later after everyone has left, when you are in private, and decide at that time what you might want to keep, take back or donate to another girl who might not be as lucky to have a wonderful birthday party as you had. People care about you, and they go to a lot of trouble to choose a gift for you; they deserve respect for that, even if you dont like or need what they bought for you.
Good Manners for Receiving Gifts:
Open all your gifts during the party, in front of everyone.
When your guests arrive, greet them, and after the gift is offered (no grabbing the package out of the guests hands!), place it on a table to the side until gift-opening time.
Be sure you look at the card before you open the gift. Sometimes an enclosure card might be on the inside, but in any case, do not rip open the package and toss the card to the side.
You should read the card out loud to let everyone know who gave you the gift, and then be sure to hand it to your mom or to the person who writes down which gifts were from whom. This list makes for easier thank you-note writing later.
Open each gift slowly to show your appreciation of the time spent choosing and wrapping the gift, and say thank you or something like that each time you open a gift.
Although written thank you notes are not absolutely required when you say thank you at the party to the giver, it is always a welcome and really sweet thing to do.
Truman and Mrs. Susan Fleming will be glad to answer your questions on manners and etiquette. Susan Fleming is a home economist, editor and lifestyle writer, specializing in the areas of entertaining and childrens etiquette. Juste-mail your question to
manners@kidsvillenews.com. If we use your question in the publication, you will receive a Kidsville News! t-shirt!
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